Wednesday, October 18, 2006

... and on love

All the scrutiny
All the prescient wishes
The custodial recommendations
Gone
Rightfully so
I’m free

Wrestling with own demons now
Delusions of visionaries -writers
Alone and quietly
In Arabic please
Avoid the extinction of vocal morality
Avoid the anesthetic routine
The suffocating silence

Life

Moments I tucked away for good
Jolt of awareness of one’s life
Violent happiness

Virtual moments

The rain … The rain …
Your eyes dripping down in deep thoughts
The insolent burning sun
Games of shadows and lights
Your warm breath on my skin
Games of senses and love …

I once cried
I cried for your touch

your touch,
crisp and wilting
in the midst of my dawn
your lasy tender pecks
watering my morning yawns
your shy skin dissolving
in a chuckle and a moan,
your warm breath quilting
the curves of my dunes
your mystical scent wrapping
my shivering lonely moon...
your silver rays enchanting
revolting my tidal foam..

To be free
To know by the end of these lines
You will be gone
Forever …

Virtual moments

Happiness lives in the moment we realize a possibility of happiness
Happiness also lives in the memory of this moment
Nostalgia brings a hidden feeling of hope in finding this happiness again
We should know this happiness is only virtual
We should know it only exist in the memory of that moment at that place

Virtual
Everything else is a pleasant feeling
Of comfort, of satisfaction and of belonging

Happiness doesn’t exist
Love does

Love is a very selfish feeling. It comes from the need to be loved and the need to care for others. The need to feel needed and remembered and wanted. The need to feel and even suffer. Even the need to sacrifice one's happiness.

Love is not happiness.

18 comments:

palo-girl said...

wow... that's so sad :(

Mone said...

There is in my opinion great misconception about love. Yes, I agree the love you desribe is nothing but selfishness and pity..but is this real love?
We do think of love as love to others, thus love can bring misery of outmost degree, because the more intently you love one person or a thing, with that same intent or power you will hate others. This can't be what happiness or joy is all about. The real happiness when we are in state of joy, when you just can't necessarily love one more than another thus can't hate either and that reduces your suffering. It s a state of stillness, pure mind..call it whatever you like. On the same token, Romance and hope of finding Romance is as well marketing product our society got addicted too and we keep falling in it. Romance itself is a lie, when two people date, they hide their real faces and their problematic life styles to win another. After the win, true faces and issues show up..in a year, or in 20 years..it will show up... What our society is failing to introduce is a concept of real love, real love not to a particular person but a true happiness inside. The sharing of that feeling is only optional but is very much desierd as a way to reduce our bullshit trap and suffering lifesyles we keep falling in...Am I there? No way..but I think I am aware of the path :)

Mirvat said...

mone, 20 years .. try a week or so. it's not about dating at all. love even in its purest manifestation is a form of self assertiveness which is not a bad thing but has to ultimately evolve from a joyfull self in order for it not to turn into ugliness and a need for being assured.

Mone said...

I agree, if that person himself/herself really knows of real love(manifesting from pure joy) , and also the other person knows of that joy then you got something beautiful going. if only one side knows of the selfish love kind then no matter what, there will be trouble and misery :(

I have problems when I meet someone or group for example and they talk with passion about their family, or their lovers or whatever, but shortly in the same magnitude they start bitching or attacking someone else...what they had is absolutly not love... it s an illusionary form of it..an ugly form of love..

Mirvat said...

i see what you mean. i agree but i still think that the good form of love that eminates from the inner self has to originate from a satisfaction in ones life which usually tends to be based on others.
i found this quote on another blog:

There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life -- happiness, freedom, and peace of mind -- are always attained by giving them to someone else. (Peyton Conway March)

FZ said...

i love that quote!

Mone said...

very accurate quote. Happiness, Freedom and Peace also go hand in hand resulting in pure joy. In my opinion this is another definition of love. Thus, love too can be attained and strenghtened by giving it to others.
Now, Mirvate, The satisfaction as a condition of love, I agree and don't at same time. Satisfaction is very subjective. Desire is linked to satisfaction too, and Desire can never be fulfilled 100%, there is always more so there is always an excuse not to be there and feel well...very happy. At one point there has to be a decision by the person not to have any condition on feeling of Joy/love, then satisfaction follows, not vice versa..

Mirvat said...

mone but you describe a very ideal state and i'm describing the limitations of the human state. i think few individuals can reach the ultimate state of joy constantly in life irrespective of feedback, those individuals are the very spiritual or religious and in both cases the state of joy is absolute because it depends on a constant entity or concept and not on other individuals. this process happens to be very self giving and self sacrificing which basically comes from the same need, the selfish need as i call it..

Mone said...

True but eventhough most can't reach this stage 100% and not 24 hours a day, the closer one get to it the more happiness will be there for the individual.

Regardless.. the answer to get closer to that state should be identified clearly as a state independent of anything around the person ..although difficult to achive. Once identified, it is up to each individual to take that step or not...
If we identify happiness or love as dependent on others then it is simply not true, and one will always be disappointed when someone doesn't satisfy his/her expectations...when there is a oil spell in the sea or catastrophe
somewhere..ect
Someone(and I forgot who) said a beautiful quote when asked about feeling joyful although there s much misery in the world:"You can't feel bad enough to help anyone else who is in need"

Mirvat said...

i like the quote, it makes a very valid counter-argument that some can achieve a state of independence. reminds me of another discussion i raised in this post about the self and the other, it was in the context of guilt.
so the question here is can we identify what makes us satisfied and loving and maybe happy irrespective of others?.. i don't know.. take guilt, back to your quote.. one cannot ever live alone independently of its surrounding. to stop being guilty is to be free. feeling guilty towards any shortcoming regarding others is a constant source of sadness.
i can't help but think that the detachment of those natural social feelings might come from a lack of modesty since we're humans. ideally it should come from a self-satisfaction place and the cessation of the need to help and please others so that we please ourselves.
taken that into account, doesn't make you think it's a good thing we have those needs

Mone said...

I think it is very possible that we can achive a state where we can be very happy, despite the sufferings around. That doesn't mean we don't help others on any ground, be it political, humane..ect on the contrary, this joyful state is very energizing and will give the force needed to help others and understand human/animals/earth suffering,
So these needs of having to give to achive a non-guilt state is artificial and has been inherited to us by our parents, religions culture and our political lifes. Why they do that is another issue, I think it s to give them the power needed to control us and have us among their box/tribe/group...It s all a big game that we need to find the "exit" button

Mirvat said...

it is possible that we follow the same rules in love too. in love the game is not called guilt, what is it then? loneliness among other things.
yes ideally all these are the wrong reasons to fall in love with people and the wrong reasons to be satisfied.

Mone said...

To succeed in the love game one need to be dettached :)

Meanwhile..we can still write about love and ..falling in love :)

Mirvat said...

yeah, at least poetry is all about my satisfaction :)

Mone said...

and..there s absolutely nothing wrong with that... we would be machines if we don't some way or another express with passion our views...
and..your poetry is most beautifu :)

Mirvat said...

thanks mone
i love your poetry!

Mone said...

And Thank you for being you..

Mirvat said...

:)