We all seemed to realize during the July war how much we care. The thing that got to us the most and distressed us the most was some split in views and opinions but it seemed that our united feelings got us through. This is not an exaggerated romantic idea, it’s true. I don’t know what I would have done without my Lebanese friends here. It happened that just before July, we were all too busy to often check on each other. The minute the war started we all gathered up so naturally and with no words or 3atab we just sat down together wiping each other’s tears, throwing a joke here and there, hugging one another and simply crying together. We heard about the wonderful show of unity back home and we felt proud but we all saw signs of disagreement. It seems that we are only left with disagreement at this point and it feels merely exhausting. The two parties are split like a couple going through divorce and the country is self-destructing. Some of us already gave up. The same people who, not so long ago, were expressing their love for this little country of ours but I understand. We expressed our longing and nostalgia but we all produced images of childhood memories. Home is where you grew up. Home is family. Home is memories. Nothing we see or hear about these days represents our romantic idea of home. When the country itself loses its identity how are we supposed to still identify with it?
It is home though. Like it or not, it is all we have. If you lose perspective, think about the people you love. Home is also an accent that you relate to, a name that rings a bell, a shared memory or image with a complete stranger, people you meet for the first time and you connect with. Our home might be going through a rough period but we have to take the bad with the good. Our home doesn’t lose its identity because we are its identity. I love my Lebanon because I love Mar and Hashem and Gitanes and Eve and Maya and Jooj and Laila .. Some of them I loved just because they’re Lebanese. Let’s not give up just yet. Remember our promises to Lebanon? Remember our whispers not so long ago? Under the bombing and the absolute despair of being attacked by a mighty neighboring aggressor we stood tall and proud and screamed that we are Lebanese. I see how when our people fight each other, we might start to lose faith in our country. We are our country though and i have faith in you. We only realize how much we love something when we're about to lose it or when someone else tries to take it from us. I said i felt their boots on my skin and i meant it. I said every rip in the earth ripped in my heart, Ripped in my soul, and as they blocked the sky i lived in darkness, and i meant every word.