Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Broken Letters ...

Because she's mourning a lover
and it is the worst thing
to long for a sensation that you know
that you will never have again
you look at your fingertips
as if to summon some of him...
to long for a lover you lost
is to die
is to wake up every morning
chasing the tip of a dream
only to remember a nightmare
the feeling of loss
the deep endless source of numbness...

Your limbs ruffling...
your eyes are open but you can't sleep
and you can't cry
bitterness to everything around you
you can't let people catch a sadness in your looks
you're too proud
your blank face refuses to be dismissed
refuses sympathy
you stray...
windows of white
windows of eternal light
of eternal emptiness
you still can't cry...
you will cry later and,
for now
you will suffer...

And I,
Don't you worry when i go,
you will be taken care of,
I saw the end today, love
I was ready but my only pain
was the image of your lost face
I know my time will precede yours,
and i cannot leave you behind,
the shame of your tears scares me
tonight i will take you in my arms
and we will worry tomorrow....

Friday, February 23, 2007

Pack your heart and leave your memories behind

travel light ...

And the mere exhaustion. Most of what will be too. The trembling shoulders. Moments of truth and trance. Mistakes made by one. Price will be paid by two.
He will come and visit her in the city she loves. He comes to take her back with him one day. His words were always commanding and she embraced the numbing feeling of being helpless in love. She gave in to his will when she had nothing to lose. Little does he know. Things have changed. She now has herself to lose. The gray crude city streets became tenderer than his touch over the years. He doesn’t know that she learned how to hide in the blinding lights more than she could ever hide from his eyes. He doesn’t know that she trembled in his arms more than she did in the cold nights of this strange place and that she never knew loneliness in all the years she lived alone as she did with him.
Drying skin and wet hands. Eyes roaming so fast. Another knot in her heart. Wrapping up and leaving now. How can you leave behind what lives in you? How do you shake off the shear weight of the past?
He said he’s a changed man but when will he truly listen?
Hearts might change but characters don’t…
Just pack and leave now...

Saturday, February 17, 2007

The city of my heart ...

the people of my heart

and mloukhiyyeh ...

Monday, February 12, 2007

The weather these days
Gha2em joz2iyan …
I miss you too my darling
I don’t have time to think these days
But as soon as I do, I will think of you

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Love algorithms ...

There is a delicious inexplicable level of charm in a woman grabbing on to her man, letting down of her guards and being vulnerable. Even the strongest most self-achieved most self-sufficient of us wait for the man who we would want to need. The man we need to need. It is not calculated vulnerability because the risk is never calculated ...

There is a most endearing most exciting feeling in witnessing a man’s attachment to his woman. Even the strongest most detached most nonchalant characters wait for the woman whose arms they can rest their head safely in knowing they’re home and forgetting challenges and pains even for a while. It is not calculated vulnerability because when you give yourself to a woman the risk is never there ...

Planning a life together when seperate worlds have already existed, when personal space and personal habits have already been established and fixed, coming together in shared stuff, shared bed, shared plans and dreams, limitations have to follow, what is gained and what is lost? What will compensate for the compromise? What will define it? What corrections are made to balance back individuality and shifting the equilibrium towards a dual state, is energy lost or gained? And how reversible is the process? Happiness is a tough one to measure ... Then again, that's the calculated risk ...

Friday, February 02, 2007

Remember L.?

"Mirvat:About a week ago I got an email from a distant relative by marriage ----Check it out--I'm sending you the whole chain of communications:"

This relative sends the following message around asking people to think about it!

"Something to think about.
Spanish newspaper
Article on Judaism
By Sebastian Vilar Rodrigez
I walked down the street in Barcelona, and suddenly discovered a terrible truth - Europe died in Auschwitz. We killed six million Jews and replaced them with 20 million Muslims. In Auschwitz we burned a culture, thought, creativity, talent. We destroyed the chosen people, truly chosen, because they produced great and wonderful people who changed the world. The contribution of this people is felt in all areas of life: science, art international trade, and above all, as the conscience of the world. These are the people we burned. And under the pretense of tolerance, and because we wanted to prove to ourselves that we were cured of the disease of racism, we opened our gates to 20 million Muslims, who brought us stupidity and ignorance, religious extremism and lack of tolerance, crime and poverty due to an unwillingness to work and support their families with pride. They have turned our beautiful Spanish cities into the third world, drowning in filth and crime. Shut up in the apartments they receive free from the government. And thus, in our misery, we have exchanged culture for fanatical hatred, creative skill for destructive skill, intelligence for backwardness and superstition. We have exchanged the pursuit of peace of the Jews of Europe and their determined clinging to life because life is holy, for those who pursue death, for people consumed by the desire for death for themselves and others, for our children and theirs. What a terrible mistake was made by miserable Europe.
Please forward it on."

L. responds:

"I think it's interesting to note that this kind of stuff always circulates without a link or identifier of the original source. I suspect that some hate group thinks that connecting their anti-Moslem beliefs to some imaginary European source will make it seem more authentic, "cultured" etc and legitimate to "sophisticated", educated Jews in the US.

I think it'simportant to note that Islam is the world's largest religion, meaning that there are millions of quiet, industrious, peaceful family people who consider themselves to be Moslem and who are being gathered together inthese ugly generalizations. Such generalizations are meaningless to me indescribing ANY entire group of people and I consider them to resemble the anti-Semitic cartoons the Nazis used to describe the evil, dirty influences that the Jewish culture had on their "superior, innocent, virtuous Aryan people".

If this is, in fact, a real editorial from a Spanish newspaper, I would say it provides evidence that many (notice that I'm not including ALL Spaniards or Europeans in a sweeping generalization) Europeans--if not just Spaniards--haven't learned from the horrors of the Nazi era about the dangers of such racism but have simply found a new group on which to focus their anger, feelings of insecurity and bigotry. If people don't think carefully about such craziness, we will all soon be reliving the horrors of that period. More likely, I think it is an indication of where much of American (including American Jewish) consciousness, is today. G-d help us!

I would also ask Jews to recall the fact that when the rulers of Spain tossed all non-Christians off of the Iberian peninsula, it was this Moslem culture, primarily, that welcomed and tolerated the Jews and nurtured the likes of the physician named Maimonidees. The history of the European darkages is never presented in this country with the story of the Renaissance that was occurring in the Middle East among the Moslem world. You have to dig for it to realize that it wasn't primarily the catholic monks in Europe who carried the developments of ancient Greece through the dark ages to their continued development in Europe, but the continuing enlightenment in the Arab countries. It clearly suits the needs of some western bigots to forget and bury these facts and present a huge part of the world's population as being just genetically inferior.

Sorry, I'm a scientist and a well-read student of the misuse of science and statistics to rewrite history to foster hatred and bigotry. I don't drink that Koolaid as quickly as many others seem to! I have sought out and found beauty in many other cultures including those that are primarily Moslem and am always disgusted to find privileged, educated Jews who should have learned from history how dangerous it is to buy into such hateful garbage. Because of such a prevalence, I truly fear for my children and the other children of this world; the 21st century seems to be following in the violent footsteps of its predecessor. I hope you'll pass around this alternative view...but I don't expect it.
Sorrowfully yours,