I know I promised… Well I take it back...
I don’t want to hear or see or feel anything for a while, please.
I don’t want the reactions and interactions, the sympathy looks and the solidarity back taps and the pity facial expressions masking an empty head.
I don’t want the analysis and the aftermath and the point of views and the threats and the unequivocal evidence of a yet ambiguous human succession of events.
I don’t want to be here or there. I don’t want the weight or the burden or the natural or the unnatural feeling that should or would or has to follow.
No more pictures please.
I don’t want the nostalgia, the pain, the fervor of anger, the paralyzing loss, the shock and disbelief, still. I don’t want the acceptance either.
I don’t want the fake questions and the quick responses and the perpetual detached existence.
I don’t want the bigotry and the hate and the disguised tolerance and understanding, I don’t want forgiveness either.
No more headlines, no more orange... back to blue.
No more Fairuz songs. I don’t want to long and ache for times I will never know and live.
No more being nostalgic to nostalgia.
No more pain.
Yes I promised not to hide anymore...
I need to hide for a while.