Sunday, March 25, 2007


Don't want to grow up!


We don't want to give stupid lectures and have stupid jobs and carry stupid labtops around to stupid meetings ...

We want to dance and be silly and never grow up and never leave each other...

Why is it that we have to keep saying stupid goodbyes in this country every couple of years...

Bad enough it takes so long to make a home for ourselves from scratch, we have to do this all the time now ... Everything is changing and it is my highest stress level possible ...

I'm having meltdowns ... No i know .. A lot of people do it all the time and get adapted fairly quickly ... Bastards!

We invest in our careers but we also invest in the people we love. We don't have to drift apart even when we're apart? not true! It's not the same. If i don't see you in a couple of years i probably will forget your face and your habits and why i loved you in the first place.

Someone said to me that i'm always stuck in the past. Well of course i am. My present keeps changing and my future 3a kaff 3afreet. 3afreet eh.

When we were kids we wanted this life. Remember? Vivre comme des vagabonds. Fresh starts at every step. Never buy furniture and never get too close or too attached but travel light and carry a pad to write each other ... Two drifters ...

Yeah? Well i'm tired of drifting. You drift away. I'm settling again another time but for the last time. I'm saying goodbye for the last time. I'm buying furniture and a washer and dryer and maybe i'll even get a mortgage ... Who knows ... I'm shipping my cats for the last time ... No more moving sales, no more address changes and no more life changes ...

For the next ten years you know where i will be ... Stuck in my stupid new place, in my stupid apartment, in my stupid job ... I have to grow up ...

We're no longer students forever, no longer starting over ... no writing fellowship in London or an editorial job in Barcelona. kbirna we t3ibna we 3eefouna ... It's over ... This is it my dear ... Shou? Coming?

12 comments:

Haider Droubi said...

you said it ...loud!

laila said...
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laila said...
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laila said...

damn blogger. ok here's what i was trying to say:
when's that party again?
i'm gonna be in NY weekend of april 7th. you take care of the rest.
i have been suffering from severe homesickness for the past few days. i am on the verge of booking myself a ticket home for a week, but i'm really trying to control my pathologically impulsive urges. i want to fucking go home.you know?. and right now home is there. but i know that in a few days the concept may change. i think i'm going insane. i need a drink.
and then i think i said we should meet up saturday night with a bottle (or two) of wine. now im thinking central park?

Mar said...

:) I love this post. The furniture... travel light? Aya light yil3an hal shaghle 3itlene ham weyn bade roo7 b hal furntiure that I kinda own. Shipping them kitties hehe thats so cute. I'm homesick too laila... who said we bastards get used to the new places rather quickly? I miss the US. when I read u guys, I miss it more. Can I join? Central Park sounds Fanfreakintastic Laila! Shou? Coming :) :*

Lirun said...

hey mate

does kbirna mean we've grown up?

Mirvat said...

lirun yes it does.

laila :) you're crazy dude. eh i'm here and i'll plan the best sahra ever yalla bass ta3i. i know i know i want to go home too. it feels like we're fucking cursed! i keep saying why should i start a job here? why? i'm getting psychotic too these days.

Mar, tab come back to the US. i still don't understand why you went to dubai.. (don't kill me for saying that) bass your family is here! yalla find a job in california and move there with me. shou?

Mone said...

Mirvat,
I agree with you, this educated life sucks, I go to seminars full of Microsoft Engineers and they look like they r big shot, so stupid...I m entertaining going fully in real estate..I m already in it but not fully.. these people you can make deals with, maybe shot with, but they r not stuck up, and when things go right, good deal happens, a building is sold or captured they party like silly..although most are richer than 20 stuckup educated people

if you r stuck in the past and future is unknown why not try to stick with the present, it s been always the same, given you r healthy, breathing exactly the same way, nothing can go wrong, then nothing goes wrong

Liliane said...

I really identify with this post... crappy goodbyes, getting old. pfft.

Label: Na22

Mirvat said...

ya know mone!!
it's like we're stuck, can't throw away what you worked on already, tired of this pretentious life where everybody is an asshole, and you have to be a bigger asshole to survive. .. sick of it..
you should stick with estate.. that's where the big bucks are no?

yeah liliane, i need to stay put for a while to have time to appreciate and enjoy people i got to know

_z. said...

chou badde ellik... smile again! khalas sorte ta3erfiya...

i have been living "temporarily" for the past five years or so, and I too am tired. I would like to settle and stay put too... but that too, scares me.

growing up!
fuck, who wants to grow up.

Mirvat said...

yeah i don't..