Do you have a guy in your life like that? A guy who. You would give the world to. Easily. Not knowing why. Not knowing when, it all started for you. He makes you smile and gives you back that feeling of excitement. You tuck him in every night. Mentally. And send him a kiss. Out there in the world. You think of him and cry. Happily. In the middle of a busy day. Just like that. You look down and hide your smile. Touch your neck and flip your hair. And even blush in your deep thoughts. You might have had a story. That you treasure deep in your heart. With no regret. And maybe not. Maybe he broke your heart. And maybe not. But you miss him. Equally. He's your secret. And yours alone. And even when you’re love starved. You know he’s not for you. But that’s not why you keep him in your heart. You love him more when he's not there. And it’s ok. It keeps you happy. In some strange way. You know what you are to him. You know exactly what you are not. You know when he means to keep you around. Just in case. You know when he doesn’t. Anymore. It will never be enough for you. You know you’re a woman who doesn’t settle and doesn’t go by these terms. Nonetheless, you indulge a fantasy. You send him out there. Out in a thought. You keep him alive in a memory. You don’t kill the dream. Not yet. You don’t dare to write him off and you shy away from having him materializing. He is not to be real. He’s better than reality. He’s the man in your dreams. He’s a sparkle of recklessness. A promise for more heartbreak, more tears and more feelings. And it’s exquisitely painful. And you can’t get over it. After all he makes you smile. After all he’s just a thought.
You might not have that. I do. And i do it with no regrets.