Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Come on now ...
I find myself pacing the room saying out loud.. ok.. ok ok ok now… now what…
We all seemed to realize during the July war how much we care. The thing that got to us the most and distressed us the most was some split in views and opinions but it seemed that our united feelings got us through. This is not an exaggerated romantic idea, it’s true. I don’t know what I would have done without my Lebanese friends here. It happened that just before July, we were all too busy to often check on each other. The minute the war started we all gathered up so naturally and with no words or 3atab we just sat down together wiping each other’s tears, throwing a joke here and there, hugging one another and simply crying together. We heard about the wonderful show of unity back home and we felt proud but we all saw signs of disagreement. It seems that we are only left with disagreement at this point and it feels merely exhausting. The two parties are split like a couple going through divorce and the country is self-destructing. Some of us already gave up. The same people who, not so long ago, were expressing their love for this little country of ours but I understand. We expressed our longing and nostalgia but we all produced images of childhood memories. Home is where you grew up. Home is family. Home is memories. Nothing we see or hear about these days represents our romantic idea of home. When the country itself loses its identity how are we supposed to still identify with it?

It is home though. Like it or not, it is all we have. If you lose perspective, think about the people you love. Home is also an accent that you relate to, a name that rings a bell, a shared memory or image with a complete stranger, people you meet for the first time and you connect with. Our home might be going through a rough period but we have to take the bad with the good. Our home doesn’t lose its identity because we are its identity. I love my Lebanon because I love Mar and Hashem and Gitanes and Eve and Maya and Jooj and Laila .. Some of them I loved just because they’re Lebanese. Let’s not give up just yet. Remember our promises to Lebanon? Remember our whispers not so long ago? Under the bombing and the absolute despair of being attacked by a mighty neighboring aggressor we stood tall and proud and screamed that we are Lebanese. I see how when our people fight each other, we might start to lose faith in our country. We are our country though and i have faith in you. We only realize how much we love something when we're about to lose it or when someone else tries to take it from us. I said i felt their boots on my skin and i meant it. I said every rip in the earth ripped in my heart, Ripped in my soul, and as they blocked the sky i lived in darkness, and i meant every word.
Home is where people speak your language, the language of your heart. Come on now ... Don't give up .. Not just yet ..

33 comments:

inmotion said...

Mirvat

Keep your head up.

We're too smart to let any of this go on.

AM said...

Inmotion,
Are we? are we really smart? yes few of us are ... but what about the majority? have you read the news yesterday or what? Dreaming is a good thing but closing the eye on the sad reality and what's happening on the ground is very dangerous too. We do have a problem and we cannot ignore it and this problem is 'we're not smart'.

Andrey said...

individuals are smart, crowd is stupid

snurdly said...

Syria said to have planned to kill 36 senior Lebanese officials

By Yoav Stern, Haaretz Correspondent

A Beirut newspaper reported Wednesday that Lebanese authorities have seized two Syrian agents who planned to assassinate 36 senior Lebanese officials.

The Al Mustakbal newspaper said that Syria has sent some 200 pro-Damascus militants to the Palestinian refugee camps Al-Badwaii and Borge Al-Baragna in Lebanon. The militants were prepared to carry out instructions sent them from Syria, the report continued.

Two of the terrorists, carrying Syrian passports, were arrested recently and admitted working under orders of Syrian intelligence. According to the report, the two said they were working for Abu Khaled El Amalah, the number two man in Fatah Intifada, a pro-Syrian Palestinian armed group.


-----------------------------------
Relax, relax...it's all part of the "resistance!"

Ibn Bint Jbeil said...

Mirvat, thank you for rising above it all, and telling us what you see from above.

Maya@NYC said...

i love you Mirvat...
a big hug from across town.
we will make it.
only 'hate' will destroy our home. and there is no place for hate anymore.

Anonymous said...

That's the vision - beautiful post M.!

Eve said...

i'm far away from giving up. im not sure though if it's ignorance for the gravity of the situation, or just pure optimism.
*hugs* from Lebanon to you and to my other little family in the blogosphere. yalla, still waiting for that cup of coffee with you & Mar :)

Mirvat said...

love you all :)

Anonymous said...

Mirvat,

Keep up the optimistic spirit. I sensed some doubt in the entry; I hope I am wrong.
I know Lebanon will be fine. I am not scared of any civil war, that is long gone. I am not worried about lebanon's identity, Because as you mention, we make that identity. I am ok with all the practices that are taking place: politics, demonstrations, etc. that how democracy work sometimes, politicians defaming one another, demonstrations and fist fights. But my heart goes for all of our beloved Lebanese going through economical hardships. And my only fear is the daily question: "what are others planning for us and how to out-maneuver them?"

hashem said...

hayda ne7na ya Mirvat...w hayda jawana...ma heik?
I pray for it to stay safe....and sane.

Mirvat said...

yeah i don't think anything will happen. i think the politicians are just using the numbers as a popularity contest and are flagging the threat of war since we all still are terrified of the memory of the civil war to scare us and keep us in their ranks..
nothing will happen.

Ibn Bint Jbeil said...

will we look back and laugh about all this next year?

Anonymous said...

not giving up either..
(entre nous, keefik gheir heik?)

FZ said...

mirvat, right on... :)

jooj said...

hey, Spring came early this year :).
Thx for such a lovely and heartfelt post Mirvat.

The problem is that not only is the situation so mentally and physically draining (which I am sure many of can tolerate), it is also revolting, esp. when you see people cheering for warlords.

But no, we cannot give up. Never. If I give up on Lebanon then I don't know what to dream about.

anny said...

OUF ... ya lahwei .... shi ghameeel jidda2 ..breath taking ... 2alla y2awwiiikiiii ya mirvat wo ykhallilna yaki fo2 rasssnnaa

walla walla you love jooj , maya and laila ... what about jij? and roubs ? and gus ?? and meee ...ouf we are soooo jealous!!!!!

Mirvat said...

nasnous mnee7a, i missed you. i'm very nervous about today.. allah ymarre'a 3ala kheir!

anny !!!! alla ykhallilik ahlik fo' rassik

i can't mention everyone.. jij i never got to meet but i'm sure i love him too just from his writings and i couldn't agree more with everything he has to say. you of course but i was thinking about the bloggers in this post.. gus it goes without saying..

nshallah kheir..

Anonymous said...

This Friday (Dec, 1st) will be a decisive moment for the near (underline near) future of Lebanon.
I keep in my mind the thoughts that it will be a good one!
What-else can I do from here?
Nothing, absolutely nothing.
And it pains me.

Mar said...

I love you too :)

Yes we'll go back, look back and laugh at how confused "my" emotions were... Yes that coffee cup will be savored and sipped by the three of us NSHALLA sooooon!
This new life of mine invites vulnerability without any prior notice. Bitch!

Thanks for the wake up call. Feel much better.
* Hugs*

snurdly said...

I propose a 2-state solution like the one proposed for Israel...since that's the solution in the region. The Northern part of Lebanon will be "Lebanon" and the Southern part will be "Hezbollahstan." This models the partition of Palestine into "Jordan" and "Palestine" in 1922. Hezbollahstan will capitalize on their Divine Victory over the Zionist Entity because that warrants Divine Leadership. The boring Northern part of Lebanon does not know Divine Victory and therefore will not know Divine Leadership.

Mirvat said...

hey marmoura guess what? abir just called! she's so sweet. so we'll add her to the list of people having the coffee soon :)
we were both saying how we admire your courage when you made the move back (or back towards home).. and i do. i hope i'll have this courage soon.

Anonymous said...

Dear Snurdly.

Unlike the Zionists in the "zionist entity", all sects in Lebanon lack the racist crave those zionists have, therefore it is very likely they'll let your hopes down.

Mirvat, pls forgive me for the intrusion, But I just couldn't ignore such superb proposition.

Anonymous said...

it always seems like lebanon is an active volcano... but the lebanese always impress the world with the way they get back on their feet.

i hope everything will turn out to be okay :)

snurdly said...

Hamze--

Not sure...Lebanon appears to be in a distant second with the Zionist Entity of not being Muslim enough as there are about 30% Christians there. That's just too many non-Muslims for the Middle East to bear. Remember, Muslims only....and Druze aren't Muslim enough.

Mirvat said...

snurd, comments like that represent your government no doubt.
if you had any decency or common sense you would at least stay out of conversations about lebanon that have nothing to do with your country or your ignorance of ours.
it's a shame you israelis call yourselves middle easterns when you lack the first grasp about the conditions and circumstances of the MEern countries.

snurdly said...

Mirvat--

We're all in this together. Your well-being affects my well-being and vice-versa. If your current government falls it would be a disaster. You then can kiss all your posts about your wonderful nightclubs goodbye because they'll soon be either a hijab factory or a rocket depot.

God forbid Christians have some power in an Arab country. Theyre just a cut above Jews. It's a Shiite show now...even the Sunnis are going out of style. Mirvat, are you of the right sect??

Mirvat said...

snurd you never cease to amaze me.
i don't know where to start..

first of all, what do you have against shia anyway? and what do you mean by even sunnis? would you possibly be correlating the sects with the level of extremism? don't you know by now that each sect and each religion has its moderates and its extremists, like people who think they can kill others just because they're God's chosen, that's a perfect example of extremism right there. and of course you have the seculars and the atheist who still fight under a religious umbrella because they're mere supremists or just confused..

we have all of this as any country does. christians druze sunni and shia potentially we all live in harmony and our religion was never an issue except when the leaders need to fuel people's sectarian splits because of our confessional system to gain power.

socially speaking, they're the good the bad and the fucked up within each sect in my lovely country. your fox education makes you think that the shias in lebanon represent the muslim extremism or the religious extremism in general and that's not true. you think sunnis are all very cool and relaxed and hang out.. not true and not all shias are very religious.. i can't believe i'm even going there.. this is just ridiculous!!
would you think the saudis who are pretty conservative would stop frequenting the clubs in lebanon? is saudi arabia relaxed and cool because the ruling is sunnis?
who put these ideas in your head?

and again where do you come off introducing me to my country and to the sociopolitical implications of it.

if you want to talk, talk socio-economical where the shias were basically opressed in lebanon and kept marginalized and under-represented socially and politically. so what's wrong with them regaining some power that represents fairly their number at least in lebanon. and my dear, our coutry was handed from the french to the christian and the sunni leadership in lebanon which was not fair then and is bound to be criticized and opposed. even the sunnis and the christians in lebanon wouldn't muster the insolence to say that they are oppressed but you seem to manage.

in lebanon it's not about islam versus christianity. never was. in our war, christians were fighting christians as well and so it's about power.

we are not iran.

i'm not for religion and severely opposed to religious ideology and severely for the seperation of religion and state and that's why i oppose israel as well. can only seed racism you see, Nazi style. in lebanon, this could never be the case. the country is too divided which is our blessing as well since not one part can oppress the other.

you keep mentioning jews! it's never about jews. it's about israelis in power abusing their control over the palestinians and the lebanese.

HA religious inclination is seperate from their cause. the cause being to liberate lebanon and to oppose to the absolute US/Israeli control in the ME. i don't like their religious inclination but hey.. i'll take it with the good. something more important is at stake. they're the opposition and i'm with any kind of opposition to the Israeli bend over policies.

we should never have loyalties based on our sects but based only on fairness and justice and so i don't quite understand what you mean by me being on the right sect.

Rhiannon said...

That is right. It really isn't about religion and sects. It shouldn't be that way, but the zionists love to play their game.

"we are all in this together"

Yeah! The zionists of 'israel', USA, and so on...are definitely in this together to stir up the pot of hatred between people, between country.

All you little demon peakfreans are trying very hard to instill dissension and hate between Muslim and Christian. It's not enough that you have your very powerful, and very lucrative 'christian' zionists supporting and FEEDING the very DEPENDENT - LEECH state that 'israel' is - oh NO, that is not enough for the ever wasting and vapid 'israel'! You want ALL the Christians in your pocket.

It would serve your purpose well.

snurdzy, you remind me of a treacherous little gossip, whispering into Christian ears: "Look how daft and crazy those Muslims are". The likes of you would say anything to bring down the reputation of a people, religion and country, so you pick on a religion or a nationality and expose their traits in a most ugly and vile way.

That's what snotty little gossips like you do. Bring a person/people down to cause them to lose their reputation and job/country.

So you and your zionist gang of thugs put your noses into other's affairs. Gossips do this because they have an agenda.

And when are you going to come down from your Jew kick? You really aren't Jewish, snurdzly. And besides you really do not care for your fellow Jews - certainly not the real ones.

Rhiannon said...

Hey snurdz! My Shia aunt is married to my Sunni Uncle! Woooooo! You better get on the SECT HOTLINE AND CALL THE SECT NATIONAL GUARD!

Hey snurdz! My Muslim cousin is married to a Christian girl! OH NO! BETTER BURN UP THE LINES OF THE RELIGION POLICE!

Be quick about it snurdz! Be quick! There is no time to waste!

The sunnis are going out of style? Why, I had no idea the Sunnis were a fashion statement, once upon a time! And to think! I could have made a pile of dough working for Calvin Klein or Donna Karan.

Aw shucks!

Anonymous said...

... you should have taken the offer of Calvin Klein Rhiannon, perhaps you would have become a sexy person by assimilation.

snurdly said...

Rhiannon--

Your family crosses sectarian lines? So you are loyal to more than 1 warlord in Lebanon? Must be confusing.

I'm blogging because my big bag of money got too heavy. I have a cold and these tiny tissues are too small for my huge hooked nose.

Calvin Klein was a good idea but it sounds too Jewish...your warlord might get offendedzmtz...would be too Haram for you.

Rhiannon said...

Well snurdz, I can't help you with your zionist obsession with this sect nonsense, let alone your outfit's creation of warlords - Russian Zionist Mafia, etc.. These are your hang ups not mine.

And how do you even know that Calvin Klein is Jewish? Maybe he's the Jewishatheist persuasion? I dunno.

Your point? Oh I forgot. It is hard for you to make one. Forget it, then.