Thursday, June 29, 2006

NO!!...

- Since i came back i have been living a state of complete detachment from reality. I knew I had nothing to come back to. It does not help matter that so much has changed. Change scares me. So many people have left and so many new faces around me. You keep me grounded and what a weight on your shoulders that is. I feel at home around you even when you are not around. I wish life was that simple…
- Have you made a decision yet?
- No, I don’t think so
- What’s keeping you
- Sadly nothing
- Is this a bad sign?
- Just a sign
- What else do you need?
- Something I wouldn’t be able to describe. A feeling I would choke before trying to embrace. I need my poetry back but I’m drained of emotions and hollow on the inside. I know I need you by my side but that…
- Is not enough, is it?
- No, never been, not for me. I don’t know how people do it…
- You have made a decision and i suppose that’s your response then
- I suppose it is. Back to square one. I wish life’s decisions would be torra na’she. I wish I could close my eyes and find the answer to what's missing. At least i know something is missing and i know that I owe it to myself to be honest.
- I will see you next summer then.
- We’ll see then.

(pic, Renoir, le dejeuner des canotiers, La fille du propriétaire)

6 comments:

_z. said...

mirvat,
I have the bad habit of over analyzing stuff. I can never make fast decisions. It pains me a lot. I know a very special someone who does everything by torra na'she, or tirage au sort.
When in doubt, she would write everything on separate shreds of paper, and just picks the one she likes the best. It works perfectly for her. Even for some of the hardest decisions. It is scary, but true!
Try it. (I can never do it; maybe you can break the bounds and do it)

Mirvat said...

i'm gonna actually try that :)

hashem said...

Mirvat,
is the mature relationships we talked about? :)

Mirvat said...

what?

Zee said...

Don't fly away before July -:)

Anonymous said...

Nice! Where you get this guestbook? I want the same script.. Awesome content. thankyou.
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