Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Misery loves company

and that's the tune of that...

powered by ODEO

Thanks for also being miserable these days ...

Second day in a row like that and it's driving me crazy...


So photoshop is the barbie substitute for adult females,

The end result is always the same and always looks like one of those celebrities here. There are 3 or so formats now, like templates for how girls should look like and it's absolutely scary. You end up not recognizing yourself after a couple of strokes in a software, a couple of surgeries or a couple of hours in front of the mirror every morning. What they seem to do anyway. What's the point? Really what’s the point? What do people tell that girl? She’s a step away from being a star? From looking like a star? That’s she’s the best in a bunch of girls who look exactly like her? I think it’s the same phenomenon over and over.. let’s see … we all look the same, all drive the same car, all have facebook addresses.. maybe you were right.. maybe this is what killed the blogs.. was that a phenomenon or what? facebook being the easier faster more generic version. And it just happens somehow. Not that blogs didn’t offend people before us. It’s going so fast too.. the uniformity, the conformity that people seem to crave let alone fall for .. I know people who change their phone every week. What’s the point? Now it has this, next week there’s a new feature. What does it mean anymore? you see, everyone is on facebook.. you go through selection in life for a reason, no? not that I want to avoid anyone, or maybe I do.. you can’t avoid uniformity though.. we go through childhood fighting uniforms and through adulthood fighting routine and somehow we fall into its ugliest forms. I swear you look at people’s profiles and they all have the same life, take the same vacations, photograph the same … Remember print out photos before the digital age? I know i sound like my mother but really, remember how excited you were to expose that film you had in your drawer for a while? Or to sit down and go through albums with someone. Do you go through your digital albums with anyone really? Do you really want to make customized Christmas cards when it’s made so easy and generic? Everything is becoming generic. Cheap generic brands are good but we’re becoming cheap generic samples of humanity. When you increase noise by pixel in an image to increase contrast you sacrifice resolution. It’s always easier to go towards chaos like in thermodynamics. In life though, it’s always easier to go towards routine. Why did it become so hard to create chaos? To have a different face, a different phone, to not want to watch a certain show, or agree with a political opinion or follow a life choice or a fashion trend. Everything we own we do we have done seems to lose value, to become dispensable and redundant. Are we becoming that too? Replicas? Replicas of someone’s idea of what’s creative, what’s beautiful, what’s meaningful? I cannot add another number on my phone for someone who happens to find me on msn, someone I will never call. I cannot get another invitation or notification or poke on facebook, I cannot be stuck in another traffic, another line, another ‘image’ of what I should or should not be. It’s just too much. We keep wanting to run away. Did you catch yourself writing a list of people you should call back, or pay attention to, or apologize to, did the list include a high school friend you last saw 10 years ago? I keep wanting to run away and hide from all this nonsense. Present company excluded of course. You’re my peeps. The bloggers. In fact I miss you guys. I have lost you in all the traffic of past friends and faces of strangers ….
If you happen to stumble here by chance because you have looked me up, don’t talk to me, don’t comment and don’t add me to your email list and please don’t forward emails to me, send me pictures of your babies or poke me. I don’t care what kind of vampire you are, i don't know what your name means, I don’t know what kind of bride you are, I don’t care!!!
I know I sound like a bitch, in fact like a crazy bitch..
and oh yeah.. I’M FINE!!!
Not suicidal. I always write like that. It keeps me sane and harmless on a daily basis. Don’t check on me, don’t call someone to check on me and please, please don’t ask your mom to ask my mom to check on me.. most importantly don’t send me a virtual kiss, a virtual gift, a virtual drink or a virtual flirt. Wanna help me out? Leave a bottle of vodka by my door!!
This is typical me rambling. I feel better..


M said...

Do you know that life is ending
As we go, the dots connecting
We had our chance to save the garden
As it dies, our souls will harden

Mar said...

:) ... just add these people u havent seen for 15 yrs and who have u on their Top fuckin friends list,add them to ur limited profile..

I really liked ur ramblings... I admire the bitchiness and relate to it all

_z. said...

that's some intense ranting there... loved it...
see I told you facebook killed the blog... where is ashraf to defend it now!
you killed it girl...

as I was reading you, I picked up the list I had jotted down, of ppl I should call, and ppl I should email... I tore it to million pieces...

sure you're fine.
and now I am fine... since you're back with a vengeance.

do you think makeup is the pre-photoshop software?

Mirvat said...

mar, i think i have most people on my limited list :) how you've been darling?

zouzou, good for you! never keep lists anymore. lists are for boring things like grocery and work :) with people, it shouldn't be like that!! i'm the kind who's all about one person for a while, then i kick back and i like that. i like the freedom and the actual choice to love someone because we want to, not because we're keeping decorum.
makeup is still more artistic because it's more 2D, you need to create the illusion of volume or depth, you play around with shades and lights, like drawing.. i always liked to play with makeup because i like to draw portraits..
photoshop is just boring.

_z. said...

you mean makeup is more 3D....
but in photoshop you can play around with shadows and depth... it is not as sensitive that's true though.

your last picture in the photoshop metamorphosis looks like "toufa7a" no?

Mirvat said...

no, tricks you can use in makeup are 2D.
it will depend on the resolution of the image in photoshop, but you're the photographer :)
it does look like touffa7a, because it's based on my face maybe? touffa7a was charcoal with a touch of blur in photoshop. but look at the eyes, the nose in touffa7a, you see the drawing mistakes :)

Zee said...

Well, your rantings were spoken from the depths of my soul. And now you can erase that entry on your newest gadget - gone ...
I agree with you on that "facebook" thing, it's a hybrid between blogger and "myspace". A helpless cushion for people who have little to say, and when they do, only about themselves.
I just canceled my cell phone subscription and I'm running around without being constantly connected. It feels very freeing! I must admit that I will reactivate it again once I am done with my present job. But just the experience for now is great, rejuvenation of relationships by "real" means.
You paint, and you paint well. So you must understand that Photoshop is just a tool, a brush to strike your fancy, a pallet of colors at your own discretion.
Yes, I remember the days when photo albums were shared, sitting on the sofa, flipping the pages and commenting on images. Nowadays we are droned into a swamp of stimulations of never ending morass, a petty really.

I would not mind, to see other times again.