Monday, April 16, 2007

From a distance ...
You caught me in the act. In the most devious act I committed. Why should I wonder how you know. How you always know. I project and you embrace. I explode in tone deaf words, no punctuations, no intonations and you put me back in order. You punctuate and i breathe. You are kept informed and i feel at ease. This is what you do. You bring order to my life. Time goes by and I get more short-breathed and you add calmer tunes to my episodes. You should have known by now. You should have understood that I am tired of your order. That for years gone by, I long for your voice coming unexpectedly through the night and waking me from my sleep. Your voice never comes unexpectedly. Your voice is allotted and your concerns studied and carefully delivered. It kills me. You know the first rain in New York. How wet leaves swaddle up the curbs and exposed guts of earth worms pave a nature disaster under your feet. I am rotting from within. My emotions are spread too thin. I am a prisoner of us. I am panting with ecstatic comfort chocking up with the known and dreading the unknown. I am pinned and I feel the heaviness. I embroidered the distance with stories not to let you drift. I flooded the hours with details and threw it all out. Fearing your estrangement, fearing that one day you will think you did not have all of me. You became a poet and drifted ever more. You drifted with your imagery and delved in your head. My love for you is not a projection of past events. My love cannot be studied and carefully delivered. Us. us? We cannot be a routine anymore. I need more. The Static is between us... The distance is suffocating ... The carefully planned silence is deafening ...

- Hello. Yeah did you hear that?
- I did but let me call you tonight and we’ll discuss it
- I’ll call you before bed. I’ll play our music as we talk tonight
- Later love …
I will not read you anymore ... I cannot read you ... I only have you from a distance

12 comments:

Lirun said...

allo jumeau

t'es un peu poetique au jourd'hui

:)

Mirvat said...

non j'suis pas.. pas vraiment.. seulement pensive peut etre..
t'es bien toi?

Ghassan said...

(static)... you... (static)... me?.... (static)... hear... (static)... now?

Maya@NYC said...

very powerful...."the distance is suffocating"... how true that can be!

_z. said...

chou powerful! akhou many...e

I loved it mirvat. I always get a strange feeling after reading you... actually it is strange only because I inherit yours...

you write so well ya bint. uffft.

Lirun said...

ouai ca va..

on a les fetes d'independence qui commencent la semaine prochaine..

j'espere qu'on va se voir sur le msn - on doit chatter un peu..

;)

Mirvat said...

thanks maya :)

zouzou i think we're very much alike and that's why you relate to what i write and i to what you write

certainement jumeau :)

_z. said...

:)
(nod)

Lirun said...

il est drôle comment les choses changent.. il y a un moment nous avons eu une vraie communauté.. il a été dispersé par nos blogs.. mais il était sûr et consolidant.. mais ceci a juste fané comme la mémoire de la guerre..

les facteurs les plus forts sont les seuls restants..

à la votre!

:D

arch.memory said...

I have bestowed upon you the Thinking Blogger Award, in gratitude for this blog. Come to my blog to receive the award!

Mirvat said...

on a vecu une nostalgie pendant la guerre, c'est drole je sais d'etre unis a ce moment la, des gens comme nous, par un sentiment de calme et de vide apres les emotions intenses de l'ete passe. tres etrange que les memoires se presentent source de comfort n'importe que c'est le context.

et l'amitie reste non?

et a la votre cher ami :)

Lirun said...

ouai

grâce à olmert et nasralla nous avons gagné l'amitié